On Dating: Be Yourself, But...

My 18-year-old daughter complains: "Boys ask me what I want in a guy and I say I want them to just be themselves. Problem is, when they do show their true selves, they expect me to like them even if what I see is not very likeable."

Hmm, it sure is something we hear often: be yourself. And it is good advice.

It means not putting on a front, not pretending to be someone you're not. It means not misleading the other person about who you really are.

It does not, however, mean that showing your true obnoxious, self-centered, domineering, slacker self will automatically endear you to anyone.

Pretension will backfire on you sooner or later, but being yourself will not earn you any points either if that self is not likeable to begin with.

Be yourself. Of course. That is the cardinal rule. But also make sure that you make yourself the best you can be - genuinely.

If you are looking for the right person, be the right person yourself.