The Bad Boy

This has always intrigued me: how some very intelligent, attractive women could shrug off all logic and choose to be with a "bad boy."

What is a "bad boy" then? There are several types. There is the charming smooth-talker. There is also the angst-ridden brooding type. There is the rough macho man. There is also the sophisticated man of the world. These are not what make him a "bad boy," though - there are a lot of perfectly good men like the ones I have just described. No, the "bad boy" is marked by his utter lack of respect for women.

Oh, this lack of respect may not be obvious. In fact, he may seem like a total gentleman, even more chivalrous than most. Check out his life, though, and you will see a trail of broken hearts, broken dreams, broken lives. The "bad boy" may claim he does not intend to hurt anyone's feelings, but he does so, time after time. He may claim he cannot help himself. He may claim he needs your help, he needs you. This is where you get drawn in.

Even in romance novels and romantic movies, the "bad boy" hero is always the most popular type. Of course, in novels and movies, he is usually made to change into the perfect hero.

I have never been attracted to "bad boy" types and, thankfully, neither are my daughters. I'm wondering what attracts all those other women to them, though.

Some women say they find "good boys" boring and "bad boys" exciting. What's so exciting about all the heartache they will be left with, I wonder?

Perhaps it is the idea of making a man want to change his ways for love of a woman. Well, the idea is thrilling but, sadly, reality very rarely presents this scenario.

When you fall in love with a man, you fall in love with the totality of his being. Do not fall in love with a future version of him that you have in your mind - a new, improved version that you intend to create. You are setting yourself up for disappointment.

I believe that a man can genuinely change for the better because of love, but this has to be of his own free will and cannot be a foregone conclusion in a relationship.

Of course, some women may say that they have not chosen to fall for a "bad boy." It just happened. And now they are caught up in this once-in-a-lifetime grand passion. They feel it is their only chance at experiencing this intensity of emotions, and can't let go.They feel it is worth everything to take this risk, try for the possibility of a happy-ever-after.

Well, if you are of age and you know the danger you are getting your heart into, no one can stop you. I can only say good luck. Miracles do happen still.